Investigative journalists at Rockies vs. Connor incorporated have uncovered a leaked exit interview transcript between departing GM Bill Schmidt and Rockies Human Resources. It’s unclear if Schmidt understood he was in an exit interview and thought this was just a chat about what he was doing. The transcript is below, it is unedited.

[start recording]

Gary, Human Resources Specialist: Mr. Schmidt, thanks for joining us today

Bill Schmidt, GM: Please, just call me Bill. I don’t want us to dabble in the Mr. Schmidts, I’ve been called Mr. Shit too much lately.

Gary: By anyone on staff?

Schmidt: Ah, no. But fans, people on the street, my children.

Gary: I see.

Schmidt: It’s part of the job though right [nervous chuckle]

Gary: I hope you’re ok with us recording.

Schmidt: Of course. Anything I can do to help improve the org.

Gary: Improve the org, interesting phrasing. You were promoted in, 2022 is that correct?

Schmidt: Technically mid-season 2021. Jeff (Bridich) had left the team after Dick (Monfort) asked him to change the socks in the lndry downstairs. We were having a lot of that during that time, people in office jobs being asked to do the laundry. I didn’t mind, allowed me to zone out. Jeff hated it. So he told Dick to fire him.

Gary: Right. That’s right. Ok, so I have some follow up questions around your tenure since you took over. If we count 2022 as your first full year, the Rockies have lost 94 games, 103 games, 101 games, and now 119 games.

Schmidt: Well when you read it in a row like that

Gary: Is there another way I should read it?

Schmidt: I guess not. It just..

Gary: Doesn’t sound good.

Schmidt: Yeah. Doesn’t sound good. But we’re trying here we really are. I’ve got people working to understand where the bottom fell out so we can improve.

Gary: Are you sure we’re not in the bottom?

Schmidt: I guess we hope! [Schmidt gives a thumbs up]. I’m giving a thumbs up.

Gary: The recording will be transcribed by me, I’ll be sure to note the thumb.

Schmidt: Great, I think that really helps what I’m trying to say.

Gary: You mentioned the team is trying. I have a list here [handing Schmidt a three sheets of paper]. This list is over 140 or so excel files that the data team has put together since you arrived. Can you just point out ones you recognize?

[Schmidt stared at the pages for a while]

Gary: Take your time

Schmidt: No no, it’s just, some of these I think are familiar.

Gary: You think so?

Schmidt: Yeah like, Fastballs dot xls. That one we looked at briefly if I remember right.

Gary: Good catch. I have an email here from data analyst Lindsay, she says “Hi Bill, I looked into what you requested and was able to find that most fastballs in the majors are fast. It’s not just a funny name. I included a list of 500 or so by velocity. Some of our players throw a fastball, just as a heads up.”

Schmidt: I remember that now. We took that information and used it.

Gary: You did.

Schmidt: We asked our guys to throw fastballs most of the time.

Gary: Yes, I have an internal memo from you here that you wanted fastball rate to be over 50% for every player.

Schmidt: It’s hard to hit something that comes at you fast.

Gary: Well, except I have some data here on some pitchers on the team where their fastball actually wasn’t that hard to hit.

Schmidt: Oof. You brought that? That was a surprise.

Gary: Was it?

Schmidt: Who would’ve thought? I mean I get hitting a slowball, but a fast one? Something to learn. We took our lumps but I’m excited to see it continue.

Gary: What would you say the team accomplished during your time?

Schmidt: Oh boy, a lot. I think we did really well drafting. You look up and down at our picks and I see a lot of talent. Charlie, Ethan, JB, Sean, Chase. Just really exciting stuff.

Gary: So you think the drafts have gone pretty well?

Schmidt: How could they not? We had a plan and we stuck to it.

Gary: You sure did have a plan. I found this photo of the draft room for the last 3 years with you in charge. Always the same white board. It says “First pick, most famous guy you can think of. Second pick, a college pitcher. Third pick, a college outfielder. And then as many college outfielders as anyone can think of.”

Schmidt: That’s right that was our plan.

Gary: And you didn’t want to veer off that plan.

Schmidt: It was a good plan. We had a lot of debate on who was the most famous guy.

Gary: Always good to have a lot of debate on that.

Schmidt: I think we’ll see the fruits of those discussions soon.

Gary: Chase Dollander was one of those guys.

Schmidt: Yep!

Gary: Tough year for him.

Schmidt: We think he’ll bounce back. It’s tough getting into the bigs.

Gary: Do you think you could’ve handled anything with him differently?

Schmidt: Well sure, you always have some regrets after a tough season.

Gary: We had Chase in here earlier. He had some regrets too.

Schmidt: Yeah, I bet.

Gary: Said you guys told him not to worry about reviewing his scouting reports. Don’t think about your last time out.

Schmidt: Never want to dwell on the past.

Gary: But, you’d want to know what you did wrong so you can correct it right?

Schmidt: Sure, but with a young kid like Chase, we just wanted him to go out there and chuck it.

Gary: I see.

Schmidt: I mean take a look at a guy like Antonio (Senzatela). He just chucks it out there.

Gary: He sure does. That’s a good segue. What would you say the coaches tell Antonio?

Schmidt: We make sure nobody talks to Antonio. Would hate to confuse him.

Gary: Confuse him?

Schmidt: Well sure, we won’t coach any of our guys individually. The coaches are there to motivate, not teach. These are professionals.

Gary: But they want to improve right?

Schmidt: Sure, who wouldn’t? But you can improve just as much with a fun speech about a cat hanging on to a wire or a turtle that wins a race.

Gary: You’re referring to the famous Hang In There photo from like offices and stuff in the 80s?

Schmidt: An inspiring fellow.

Gary: You know he’s not still hanging there right?

Schmidt: Of course not, cats don’t live that long.

Gary: So you don’t think Antonio could’ve used some adjustments in his style or strategy?

Schmidt: I’m not a strategy guy, I’m an ideas guy. Bring me an idea and we’ll talk about.

Gary: Like the excel documents.

Schmidt: Yes! Well, kind of. I didn’t look at most of them. Boring titles. Altitude vs. Splitters, Striking Out Is Bad For Hitters, We Should Tell Chase Dollander to Throw a Two Seamer More. Boring!

Gary: So you’d take the ideas, and implement them?

Schmidt: Sometimes. Sometimes I’d just wave the printed email around the office and ask if anyone could help.

Gary: Did anyone help?

Schmidt: Oh sure, they’d bring me water, sit me in a chair, ask who is president right now. It all helped a lot.

Gary: I think we’re low on time, I don’t want to keep you, but I had one last thing I wanted to ask about. Middle infielders?

Schmidt: Oh lord, what a position. They’re always runnin’ around, picking up ground balls. I wish the whole team could be made of those guys.

Gary: What a treat that would be.

Schmidt: Well, I guess I better get going.

Gary: Yep, if you could just avoid your office for a couple of hours, maybe take a nice lunch.

Schmidt: Oh, thanks. I need that!

[End Recording]

Rockies vs. Connor incorporated cannot confirm the validity of the transcript in full but believes it is real because we want it to be. And you should too.

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