They're probably the worst team ever

God, they suck

The Rockies have won just one game since the last newsletter, a 3-0 victory in St. Louis last night. They stand at 31-88, still 11 wins away from not being the Certified Worst Team of All Time. But, as you watch them play, it’s fairly easy to come to the conclusion that this is the worst team to ever do it. Regardless of records and losses, the 2025 Colorado Rockies are a flawed organization beset with bad decision making and topped off with a pretty down season from their best players. Whether that down season is due to luck or variance, we’ll find out, but the fact is they left themselves open to this variance with their poor construction.

It’s been beaten to death by now, I won’t belabor the point again. But, let’s compare the Rockies to their modern rivals in terms of ineptitude. The 1962 Mets, the 2003 Tigers, the 2018 Orioles, and last year’s 2024 White Sox. All four of these teams were heinously bad. The Mets have the worst win percentage of all time, going just 40-120-1. The Tigers and Orioles were the worst teams since a non-Nixon year, going 43-119 and 45-117 respectively in their seasons, and lastly the 2024 White Sox the boys the Rockies are chasing (41-121). So how did these teams fare? How do the Rockies compare?

So, compared to their league compatriots, the 2025 Rockies are worse than all four of those other guys. Some of that is Coors Field, they play in the most run heavy environment known to MLB, and that will increase the runs, obviously. But, if you say that, you then turn to those offensive numbers. And EVEN WITH Coors Field, they sit second to last with just 441 runs scored. 14 above the last place Pirates. Coors adds, roughly 1.4 runs/game according to yearly averages. That’s not always AGAINST though so let’s halve that for two teams. The Rockies have played 58 games at home, 61 on the road. So let’s adjust 1.4×58 (81 runs), split evenly, so let’s say 40 runs scored and 40 runs against crossed off. Pitching wise, that’s still 1.7 runs per game below average, above where the expansion ‘62 Mets were. On the hitting side, that drops them firmly into last place behind the Pirates by about 26 runs. Even by rough napkin math accounting for Coors both ways gives you, easily, two sides of the game in last place. Comparing across eras, environments, or years is difficult and starts to be a little messy, so let’s just stick to this. Of the five worst teams by record since 1962, the Rockies are the only team in last place in both hitting and pitching categories (when adjusting roughly for park effects).

In the Modern Era, which begins in 1901 and roughly gives credence to a time that baseball became “standardized and stable”, the worst all time run differential stands with the 1932 Boston Red Sox. Over the course of their season, they were outscored by their opponents by a total of 345 runs. The Red Sox went 43-111 that year. The Rockies, currently, with 43 games yet to play, have a run differential of -327. They are just 18 runs away from tying Boston. Either they need to start going on win streaks or this will undoubtedly be the worst team by run differential in MLB history. Even if you cut it off at 154 games to try and equal those depression era Red Sox and their ineptitude, the Rockies STILL look on pace to top that.

Over the past couple of weeks, I got pretty complacent to the idea the Rockies were not going to be the worst team ever by wins and losses. After they were trounced by Toronto, swept by Arizona, and then blew one late on Monday in St. Louis, I am no longer complacent. In fact, I think the only reason they might avoid the dubious record is because they seem to actually want to avoid it. They are going to be trying down the stretch to win 11 more times. And every game against a mid opponent that’s out of the playoff race is an opportunity. But, here is who they have left.

St. Louis (1 game)

Arizona (4 games)

Los Angeles Dodgers (7 games)

Pittsburgh (3 games)

Houston (3 games)

Chicago (3 games)

San Diego (7 games)

San Francisco (6 games)

Seattle (3 games)

Los Angeles Angels (3 games)

Miami (3 games)

Of those, 23 are against teams competing for playoff spots or the division title. That leaves 20 games against teams with little to nothing to play for outside of their own jobs. The Rockies are probably unlikely to go, say 2-21 against those playoff teams but I would highly doubt they win more than, say six games, and at a worst case scenario let’s say they take four. So 4-19 there, now you’re 35-107. You have to go at least 7-13 against those non-playoff teams. Not hard, but for the 2025 Rockies...that’s not easy either. It’s probably for the best if they do get the record, it might ignite some fire in the organization and it would match their statistical ineptitude I laid out above. They’re already the worst team to do it, why not make it official?

Connor’s Guys Update, An Update on Connor’s Minor League Guys of Note

Connor’s Guys will be an update on the Guys I want to follow through the Rockies minor league system. This won’t necessarily be the best prospects, don’t expect a top-100 guy here, but guys I find interesting. Every now and then we’ll add a new guy when I spot someone putting up an interesting line or having a unique profile to look into. Currently, Connor’s Guys are all pitchers. Sean Sullivan (AA), Welinton Herrera (AA), Brody Brecht (A), and Connor Van Scoyoc (AAA)

The CVS bandwagon might appear to be broken down on the side of the road, but this is when we Believe Strongest. God tests his strongest soldiers in mysterious ways and we must hold firm for The Van Scoyoc Method to work.

Sean Sullivan is really starting to look undermatched by AA hitters. He’s ticked up his fastball about a mile per hour, too. I would wager that he is a strong contender to break camp next year with the Rockies, unless they really want to give him an Albuquerque baptism.

Stop using AI for art, stop talking to me about AI art

Over the weekend, the Los Angeles Times printed a story about how AI prompts create an individualized art world that would make Hollywood ask what their next step is. And even while I typed that out I had a visceral reaction. Out loud, I said, what the hell are you even talking about?

The quick prevalence of AI art has caused some really stupid conversations to be had but I think the stupidest is the one that comes from the idea that “Individualized Art” will replace the art we know. That’s just a weird, fundamental misunderstanding of what art is, of what entertainment is.

Movies are not popular just because every individual likes them, people like talking about them. My whole teen life was dictated by everyone repeating the same Anchorman jokes. Maybe it was annoying, after a while, but culture is about SHARED EXPERIENCE. How will you talk to anyone about anything if you just go home and make AI tell you a unique story about how Rick and Morty is in your room?

The beauty of humanity is that we not “one of one” individuals, but a unique part of a greater whole. We are all experiencing life at the same level, at the same time. Art and expression are a form of connection, reaching across time and language. What do we know about the Romans without their art? Of the Renaissance? Of religion? We pass down nothing but stories and paintings. If these are made for just YOU, then it eventually is made for no one and in that, there is no value.

So I beg of the media, of people, to stop talking about AI art like it has meaning. You are removing yourself from the beauty of the world we live in by doing so. Touch grass, watch a movie, look at a painting done by a human. You will feel closer to everyone and more enriched by it.

Stop using it, stop talking about it. Do literally anything else.

43 to go